You Can Do This by Beverlye Hyman-Fead,
author of I Can Do This: Living with Cancer

Beverlye's Bio

Partners in Healing

No one really expects to get the news- it might be in your family, or it can be the second or third time- no one really expects to hear the news that your life is about to change drastically within the next two or three days. To hear: "this is Friday, start on Monday, five different kinds of chemo, three weeks in the hospital, 24 hours a day into the site .After healing, a re-section of your stomach and after that healing, three more weeks in the hospital very sick- no promises at the end- and if you don't do this treatment, you might have two months to live." No one is prepared for that. As you have already guessed, I have lived and did not do that treatment, and I feel great. I've been lucky. But after having been there five years ago, here are some of the things I suggest:

1. Form a team- family or friends. Go to more doctors and get more opinions than one until you find a doctor that you have had a connection with, a doctor you can relate to. Find a doctor's office that will return your calls! (In my case, I was diagnosed with fourth-stage, metastasized, inoperable, leiomyosarcoma.)
2. Get all the info (or have your team get) on the Internet, from books, doctors, and friends on your particular kind of cancer. There is so much new information.
3. Surround your body with healthy eating, fresh vegetables, fresh juices, vitamins etc.
4. Boost your immune system- acupuncture or yoga, when strong enough exercise. Look at Lance Armstrong- he gave us a new way to look at exercise as opposed to rest.
5. Get help. No one can handle this disease alone. Your cancer center is a wonderful resource- use them! Go to them, for instance, for: A. Cancer nutritionist; B. Therapist or group therapy; C. Acupuncturist or yoga; D. Facilitator and/or classes for writing or painting as part of your healing. In my case, when I needed a place to put my feelings I called my local cancer center and tried poetry for the first time. I thought it was just to help me get through this, but as it turns out I was lucky enough to have a bonus. I wrote a book called, " I Can Do This: Living with cancer, tracing a year of hope" that now has a chance to help others. Who knows what your painting or writing could turn in to.
6. Be sure to have communication going with your mate and your family at all times. It's as hard on them as it is on you- even harder. Let them know you understand that.

The doctor is in charge of diagnoses and suggesting treatment, then it's up to you, your team and your doctor to decide together if this is the right treatment for you. I was very lucky to get to Dr. Charles Forscher, at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles , a kind and thoughtful man. I had already been to three doctors, all with the pronouncement of two months if I did not do the rigorous treatment I described earlier. He was the first one to think of going into my old charts of a cancer I had had twelve years prior and suggesting that perhaps cells had slipped into my abdomen from my uterus. They had. That meant I had hormone-receptive cancer opening me up to whole new treatments. Therefore, when he sent me to my next appointment with Dr. Frederick Eilber, he was able to prescribe an experimental treatment of hormone blockers (ie: Lupron and Femara), and it all made sense to me. But first he needed to go before the Tumor Board to approve my treatment. I was hoping for a miracle, and got it when they approved my treatment. I took my first shot of Lupron the next day and never looked back.

What would have happened to me if Dr. Forscher had not suggested going back to the cells from my previous cancer? We'll never know, but I will forever be grateful that I am able to share my success with others.

There are so many new treatments and medicines coming out every day. It's important to hang in, hang on, and find that one doctor that is right for you. You'll know the right doctor when you meet him. You won't hurt anyone's feelings by getting a second or third opinion. It's up to us to become our doctor's partner in healing and to become pro-active in our disease. Ask questions and ask about new treatments. Discuss with him or her how you want to spend the rest of your life.

On Mother's Day I received a card with a beautiful poem, written by an unknown author from my son and I think it pertains to our life challenging experience:

"When you come to the edge of all that you know, You must believe in one of two things

There will be earth on which to stand

Or you will be given wings"

I say

"Take your wings and fly!!"

Address on the web: beverlyehymanfead.com